Am I an over reacting Mum

[colourplease]

My son does night filling at Big W and is 22 years old. So he comes of at around 10.20pm.
He has been getting lifts so that I don't have to pick him up since he does not have a drivers license.
For the last 3 months he has been getting lifts from this lady who lives up the road.

As my study is down stairs in the garage I have not noticed that he has been sitting out there talking till 10.45.
This lady is having marital problems and is 44 years old. I have just asked him to be careful as things could turn nasty if the husband finds out that she is sitting in the car talking to him

Have mentioned to hubby who is currently working away. Not sure what he said to Michael but last night he came home not very happy. He told me this lady is not going to bring him home anymore because of me. She is not happy with be because how dare I even think that anything was going on between the two. I have never ever meet this woman and all I asked was for Michael to be careful.

I did lose if a bit on Friday when I cooked him a meal around coming home time and he had been sitting in the car for 45 minutes talking to this lady. I asked him to let me know what is going on so a nice meal does not get ruined.

He just does not want to understand that I'm worried and trying to warn him. He knows best at the moment and I don't know nothing about live and the world.

I suppose some have to learn the hard way.

He has been wanting to do his license for the last 3 year and has done nothing about it. He is a real "gonna man" but does nothing about it.

Christiane

[bamachic54]

Hard to say, Christiane
You want to protect your children, then you get accused of being too protective. This day and time, minor things can spiral out of control quickly. The woman should come to the door and introduce herself to you and if she wants to talk to your son, she can do it in your house. That way if anything comes up, she can tell her husband that she is visiting you. Kinda sneaky, but better than your son beng alone with her and possibly getting hurt.
Just keep reminding him to be careful, bout all you can do as he is an adult now. JMHO :)
Deb

[colourplease]

Deb that is what I said to him last night. She could have come and and introduced herself. that did not go down well either.

Oh well just have to be there in times of crisis.

[Lanascountry]

Christiane, Oh I feel for you, and although I am a grand mama now, I see
how this would cause you major concern. I think that Deb has totally the correct
ideas (as do you) . Not much I can say, as this is a grown man though.
You have our earnest prayer. I wish there were some way you could go to meet
HER, but I guess that would not be appropriate not with a grown child.
Praying for you all.

[mj-trading]

What we have found out rasing 3 kids and now they are 32,31,&25 is to let them find out the hard way if they don't listen to you! We tried to do the same as you and they wouldn't listen and found out the hard way and now when there older they admit they should have listen!
It's just a life lesson

[colourplease]

Tough love is the hardest thing for a parent or for anyone for that matter. You can see them getting hurt but they have to learn the hard way.
Your prayers are much appreciated.
It's so wonderful to know that someone is keeping you in prayers on the other side of the world and you don't even know them.
I hardly slept last night. So my brain is is go slow mode http://community.webidz.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

[Lanascountry]

WE are a very close community here and we DO care so much. Miles
don't mean a thing. I wish there was something we all could say to help, but like
Mr John said, sometimes they gotta find out their own way..:confused:

[bamachic54]

Blessings and prayers and love winging their way to you, dear!

http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm169/maggiemazzella/2vt8ktt.gif

[InspirationPlus]

Dear Christiane,

I read your post initially and my heart went out to you.
My emotions went in so many directions that I didn't know how to say what I felt.
At first, I felt anger toward the woman. I pictured Mrs. Robinson. (Remember the movie?)
If she 'just wants to talk' about her situation, she should not use a much younger 'boy' as a confidante.
Then I felt apprehension for your son. The attention is most likely flattering, but dangerous.
Then I felt relief, for at least they are sitting in your driveway in view, and not out in a secluded area.
But through all the emotions, my compassion for you was the strongest.
It is heart-wrenching to watch your children make mistakes that may have major effects on their lives.

http://i363.photobucket.com/albums/oo71/Chani1970/snags/SWprayersgrab30.gif

[colourplease]

Thanks all.
I felt your prayers is was not an easy day and there was very little speak at first.

We did have another talk yesterday and he just can't see that it a problem. Also said to him all he has to do is touch her and she could sue him and he as not arm of leg to stand on. David used to work as a business manger in a private school and told him that he had to be so careful when interviewing mums. He had an arrangement with his coworkers that hey would come in every 5 minutes so see how things where going.
Told that she would not do that
Ended up telling my daughter who picked up that there was something very wrong over the phone. She was not happy at all. Especially when I told her that she was not going to drop him of after what I said. Anita was furious and said that it is driving a wedge between me and Michael. Have to agree with her there.

Michael is going to visit the Anita and Karen this weekend in Brisbane so they will try their best to see how bad it could turn out, but only approach the subject if he does.

[InspirationPlus]

Dear Christiane,
I so feel your pain.
My favorite Bible verse comes from Jeremiah 29:11:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not harm you; plans to give you hope and a future."

Try to put this situation in God's hands.
I know that's hard.

We are all here for you.

[rnrgiftsnmore]

Christiane,

Your son reminds me of me, at about the same age, 35 years ago. I had become friends with an older(30-35 yrs old) gentleman that was married with 3 small children. Because they only had 1 car, and we had to be to work at 4pm, I would drop him off at home after work. So his wife did not have to bring the children out at 1am to pick him up. They lived 2 blocks from me, on my way home. I was just being a nice person to a neighbor.

My mom was as upset as you, I tried to tell her that it was OK. Then she said "Roz you need to learn from other's experiences." That was when I told her "I need my own experiences, so let me aquire them through life." Now I am wearing that other pair of shoes. It is very hard to trust your children and their actions, but we need to let them have those experiences.

Needless to say, I will be praying for your son to realize that this may not be a good situation. I will also pray for you to have peace of mind.

Oh forgot to tell you, my situation was OK, no problems. In fact I became friends with his family and went for lunch, (a hot home cooked meal) a few days a week. Something a single girl only gets when she goes to mom's. Even babysat the kids for them on occassion.

[colourplease]

Thanks all again for your advise.
Yes this one is in the too hard basket.

Did not approach the topic today at all.

He wants to talk to David about and this is the time where he does need to be home but we just have to make the best of the situation.

Not sure if any of you have done Emmaus but every time I'm on team more to the point anyone in this family is on team we get tested good and proper.

He ain't going to win this one either.

[colourplease]

Just an update.
It was a few tense days, but other ladies at work have supported me when she talked to them about it amd mentioned it to Michael. Not sure if he talked to other guys about it but the lady is ignoring him. Not objections.
Thanks again.

[InspirationPlus]

Thanks for sharing and updating.
Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out.
Maybe a little intervention from our friend upstairs.
We all have lessons to learn in our life journey.
I hope your son benefits from this one. :)